1. Dr. Hahn moved to NM (or to every job I have ever held in my entire life) because of "personal reasons". (or Dr. Hahn will move from NM because of "personal reasons".)
Funny story when I was an undergrad I took a class in computer systems architecture as part of my minor in Computer Science. The professor of the class was a not unattractive young woman. One student said in class immediately before she came in to teach something to the effect of "... do you know how she got her job ... she is (another professor - male)'s special friend. Hearing this being the self righteous person that I was, I was mean to her for no reason what-so-ever. The girl who spread the story was actually really nice to the female professor. I did not take into account that she really knew her stuff and that she was actually a really good teacher. I knew absolutely nothing that confirmed this rumor. I am guessing that I knew nothing to confirm this rumor because the rumor was patently untrue and she got her job on her own merits. I had both this woman and the man alleged to be involved with her in class and she was actually teaching a higher level class than the man and was a better teacher than the man. I am sure that my female computer science teacher was wondering why I was always so mean to her for no reason because she was actually really nice to me.
I always hear funny stories about myself and other women. I have never heard anyone say that a male professor relocated his job because he was following a woman. I have always taken the best job offer at any given time and have been willing to relocate. I am guessing most other people with a Ph.D. in Chemistry and working in academia do the same thing.
2. Dr. Hahn is a postdoctoral researcher working under one of the other chemistry professors at NMT.
Nope. My job description (written contract) says absolutely nothing about having to do research. I will not do research under another professor at NMT even if not doing so literally kills me. I will not be working under another professor acting as the postdoc in charge of some students. If some professor says that I will be doing that soon, they are making up lies. That is never going to happen. You can shove a horse's face into water, but you can't make the horse drink the water. If the water is poisoned, the horse is not losing anything anyway except dignity by not drinking the water. All the person forcing the horse face into the water will do is hang himself for the crime of drowning the horse. [scene from "Priest" The vampire says to the warrior priests: "...You have a choice. You can choose to die by my hand or you can choose to join me and we will rule the world together (paraphrased)..." 5 minutes later there are the warrior priests (presumably they attempted to join hands) hanging on a cross as the vampire obliterates the town]
As part of the negotiating process of accepting this job I asked to have an independent research lab space and a small start up package to try to complete some of the research from my former faculty positions so that I can try to get a publication as a principal investigator. I will not turn over my research to anyone even if not doing so literally kills me. You cannot take thoughts out of someone's head. Any research that I do is something I am doing in my spare time for my own professional interests and is not something for which I am getting paid.
In the research lab which I was told would be an independent research lab in which I would be able to work on my own principal investigator research projects is a piece of equipment for which I have absolutely no need. I actually wanted the big piece of junk (from my perspective) not even in the room because it takes up half of the floor space in the lab. Another professor is apparently having undergraduate students in his teaching lab work on a special project work on this piece of "junk". The students really only need access to a small monochromator (small enough to carry out of the room) but the professor is having his teaching lab students build an IR on the optical bench ("junk") although some of the students were of the opinion that the IR could be built on top of anything (such as a regular lab bench).
I have never seen the students or this professor working in the lab because apparently the students and professor are ghosts and vampires who only work at night. I have absolutely nothing what-so-ever to do with that teaching lab and have absolutely no desire to have anything what - so - ever to do with that lab or that project. Unfortunately I was not able to convince the professor to move the piece of equipment to another room. I have requested that I be allowed to move myself to some other lab space (although that would cost me all the time and effort that I have already expended setting up the lab space so far) but nothing is being done about that so I am currently stuck. I am not a postdoctoral researcher for this student teaching lab project and do not want to be a postdoctoral researcher on this project if it kills me. (and it very well may kill me) Anyway I never come to campus at night. I have never in my entire life ever worked in the research lab at any time past 7:30 pm or at latest 8 pm at night and I am not going to change. I have taught evening classes but I met with a class of at least 5 to 15 students as a group for a specified time not met with stray students here and there at some ungodly hour.
3. Dr. Hahn only gets paid $10,000 / nine months.
Nope. I am getting $ 44,000 / nine months (considering the livings costs of this region, this is not an unreasonable pay scale). You would think that a person with a Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry would get paid more than that while teaching 9 contact hour with an approximately 200 student teaching load. Yeah rock musicians, fashion models and sports stars make too much money and excellent chemistry teachers make too little money.
4. Dr. Hahn has small children (or is pregnant, is retiring, can't move because she has to take care of her sick parents) and is unable to work in the afternoon (next semester,...)
Funny how some people confuse me with other women with small children (pregnant, retiring, nursing sick parents) and makes some prediction about what I will be doing next. Actually it is kind of hilarious that one person could be all of the above at the same time. None of the statements above is true. I have no children, am not pregnant, am not retiring, and have very healthy parents. Funny story when I was taking Freshman Gen Chem in one of those 200 student classes, my very platinum blond friend (not really a good friend - more of an acquaintance because she was popular and I was more of "the smart but nerdy girl") from high school wanted me (who is not remotely blond) to take her place for a quiz. (I didn't do it incidentally.) ROF, LOL
People that have been mistaken for being me (& of course then I guess I am them): graduate students (black, white, asian), secretaries (65 yr old, blond, black), wives of colleagues (black, white, asian), graduate students (who apparently cook part time), undergraduate research students (black, white, asian)
I think if I am 6 feet tall, male and white haired (like the "crazy" science guy on "Back to the Future"), I think most people would actually think that I am a chemist and teach college students. Otherwise almost no one ever thinks that I am me and that I am a Ph.D. chemist and teach college students for a living even if I tell them what I do for a living. Actually one of my former Deans (female, Physics PhD, kind of old and white haired) said that people used to say that she was the smartest secretary that they had ever seen (when she was not a secretary). I always hear that I was seen partying at some restaurant/bar, when I have never been at the aforementioned restaurant/bar. Even if I happen to be walking down the hallway at the same time that a female graduate student talks to a professor about applying for some sort of scholarship, people think I was the one talking to the professor. There is apparently a female first year graduate student who lives one house away from my rented house who walks to campus (I always drive. If my car is not on campus, I am not on campus.) and people thought that I was her and that she was me.
My mom says that I should be happy that I don't look like the crazy science guy on "Back to the Future". But it is kind of annoying when I have to keep explaining myself and telling people that: (a) I am me. (b) I am not the graduate student / undergrad researcher seen partying. (c) I am not the wife of my colleague. (d) I am not the secretary (e) I am not a cook / seminar food person.
5. Dr. Hahn is too stupid to teach her own classes so she has to get her lecture notes from someone else who is smarter than she is. Dr. Hahn knows nothing about teaching because they dug her up from some lab where she was just doing research. You should not listen to anything Dr. Hahn says because the tests come directly from exams made by [insert name of person here - not Dr. Hahn]. Dr. Hahn will tell you to study all the wrong things so you MUST NOT LISTEN TO HER WHAT SO EVER.
Nope. I have been teaching general chemistry for years. Including recitations I would say I have been teaching Gen Chem for over 10 years. Only including General chemistry lectures as a professor I have been teaching Gen Chem for about 4 years. I have been teaching Organic Chemistry lectures as a professor for over 10 years. I have also taught graduate level Advanced Organic, BioOrganic and Organic Spectroscopy. I make up my own exams and I always grade the short answers and long answer parts of the exams. I want my students to do well in my classes. Why would I tell my students to study the wrong things?
I have also been teaching graduate level classes for over 10 years. Right now I am teaching a graduate level (CHEM 544) undergraduate level (CHEM 444) cross listed class in "Organic Spectroscopy". I am actually using my lecture notes from the last time that I taught "Organic Spectroscopy" to MS level graduate student class consisting of about 15 students. My lecture uses about 5 different Organic Spectroscopy texts because I am an expert in "Organic Spectroscopy" although I listed one of the texts because I really was not about to have students buy 5 different textbooks. I could teach this class to professors who are not directly in the field (& they would actually learn a lot from me) because chemists are experts in very narrow areas of chemistry. For an NMR instrumentation research proposal funded for about $200,000 at one of my former faculty positions, I was one of 3 research project directors and the only person with any FT NMR experience among any of the faculty at my former university. The NSF gave a $200,000 piece of equipment knowing that I was the only person at this University who knew how to use the NMR. I don't think the NSF is stupid and neither am I. So nope I am not getting my lecture notes from someone else. Someone is telling a lie.
When I was coordinating a lab (not here but at another university), the teaching assistants submitted grades to me and then I actually submitted the grades (somewhat adjusted) on their behalf and the teaching assistants did not have access to banner. However I have access to banner and submit my own grades. I do not submit grades for someone else to adjust.
6. Dr. Hahn had a visitor at her rented house. I saw the car belonging to the visitor and I saw someone walk up her driveway. I also know that she bought a 5 pound bag of ground beef at the supermarket this past weekend apparently for her many visiting guests.
Nope. There is street parking and anyone can park in front of my rented house. I also saw someone walk up my driveway. They were however not visiting me. They did not knock on my door. I think my neighbor has a back yard gate accessible only by walking over my yard. I'm actually not sure what part of the yard belongs to my rented house and what part belongs to my neighbor. My rented house used to be one of those 10 people living in a 3 bedroom house before the current owner (from whom I am renting) bought the house. I am using the extra bedrooms for storage - I am not renting out the extra bedrooms to anyone & do not want to do so. I was trying to get a one BR apartment but this was the only housing I could find in a nice neighborhood where I felt safe. The ground beef was on sale and I made meatloaf, cut it up and froze it so that I can microwave meatloaf for half a year instead of making small amounts of meatloaf every week - saves time.
7. Dr. Hahn was a "teaching professor" at her former faculty positions.
Nope. All my recent faculty positions (except for this position) have been "tenure track" faculty positions. I have had research positions in between faculty positions but those were not teaching positions. I have been a tenure track assistant professor for over 10 years not a "teaching professor" for over 10 years. I have not even heard of the term "teaching professor" until I came here. A "tenure track" professor does both teaching and research. [ A professor with tenure has a permanent job. A tenure track professor may not get tenure. I am not actually sure how permanent a "teaching professor's" job is, I am guessing not very permanent. A professor (even tenured) may jump from one position to another position for many reasons though.] This is why I have preliminary research results from my former faculty positions which are my own ideas - hence the term "principal investigator" research projects. My "principal investigator" research projects do not belong to any other person because they are my ideas. My "principal investigator" research projects were not research projects which I completed under the supervision of another professor but were projects completed under my own supervision. I am not going to "give" those projects to anyone because then what would I do for the rest of my life. If I cannot complete my projects myself, my research ideas are going to die with me.
8. Dr. Hahn is trying to flunk all her students in her Graduate / Undergraduate cross listed class. Dr. Hahn's Graduate / Undergraduate cross listed class is actually taught at the level of a Sophomore / Junior undergraduate class.
There is no satisfying some people. One can't be both teaching at a Junior / Sophomore Undergraduate level class (for a class listed as being a graduate level class) and trying to flunk out the entire class. I have to be doing one or the other. Actually I am teaching a graduate level class and I am not trying to flunk out anyone. I do have listed as text of record a textbook that apparently is used at the Junior level at New Mexico Tech. However the text itself says that it is a graduate / senior undergraduate level text and I am actually using about 5 different texts for the class material.
9. Dr. Hahn is writing a research proposal which will be submitted under another professor's name. Dr. Hahn is doing a computational chemistry experiment on her laptop.
Nope. Since the position at NM Tech is a one year contract visiting position with the possibility of renewal, Dr. Hahn is applying to faculty positions all over the country on her laptop. I would never write a research proposal so that another professor can submit my proposal under their name and I have never been a computational chemist.
10. Dr. Hahn wants a job cooking / buying food for the chemistry seminar.
Nope. I am sorry to say that I do not fit the stereotype. I am not getting reimbursed for buying food for the department. I am not sure but I believe that the secretary arranges for all the seminar food. I did hear that some chemistry professor provides free food to everyone in his lab but I have nothing what so ever to do with that. I guess departmental food would be a lot of money to throw around but I have nothing what so ever to do with that. I have never been reimbursed for buying any food for any chemistry function at NMT.